Tag Archives: revival

Lost For Words

;

I haven’t written anything for a long time now. Life events have had me lost for words, but i’m making a conscious decision now. It’s time to allow the words to flow.

I cannot keep on ‘hiding’ behind my fear. Fear is a terrible place to hide behind, because fear is extremely obvious!

Note to self- If I want to hide behind something, opt for something a little more discreet, perhaps. Hiding behind courage, might be somewhere for me to start.

So I will start again there…

Courage

Not the absence of fear or despair
But the strength to conquer them.

I have a good friend to thank, for once gifting me with these words. It’s about time that I finally found out how to use them!

rowett and his sunflowers

shape abstraction again


Like I did say, I am lost for words.

Perhaps
All I needed to proclaim, was this   ;


Chapter anew: I shall reclaim the plant pots!

Watering cans. I am going to need watering cans, and LOTS OF THEM! But first, it will probably make sense to reclaim the plant pots!

oak bonsais are a'happening april 2014 - Copy

 

I have just left a kind of prison. I was never arrested, charged, tried or convicted. Yet still, for three months of my life, I lived, ‘imprisoned’. While I write this, I even ask myself: Do I mean this metaphorically? Initially, yes, I did. Then I reflect, on how I have lived, for      those three small months.

Those months should have felt small, and they were (or will be) ‘small’, in the long run. In years to come, they will shrink down in significance, and the ‘footprint’ left by their boot, will be scaled into something similar to insignificance, by the great, green, giant months, which I will plant, and bring into full bloom, starting from today.

The day I moved out of that ‘homeless person’s temporary, interim accommodation’. A tower block, stretched like a club, into the sky. Not like the intricate, webbed branches of Trees, which seem to sing into the sky. No, the Tower Block pounds into the horizon like a ‘Thud’. The life within mine was stale.

Try comparing that to the life of an old Oak! Those Acorns are only part of the reason, that the Oak Tree harbours life, so much the opposite of stale. Try asking a Squirrel: “Oh, Squirrel, sir? Erm, I was wondering, who are you going to be feeding that nut to?”. To be frank, you might actually get more of an answer out of the Squirrel in your mind’s eye now, than you would get for an answer attempted by those empty, personless walls, around you in a Tower Block flat, or ‘holding cell’, while you wait to be rescued by the chance of a new home.

So no, I don’t mean ‘prison’,  in the sense that I was literally behind bars. There is a darker, sadder, story behind my ending up in such a desperate place, though. I was a victim, yet in the (endless) months which followed the attack, I felt as though I were the one, being punished. Playing ‘prisoner’, while I await that trial, while I wait for the day some Crown Court Judge can somehow ‘lift’, from my shoulders, spirit and heart, that weight, the crushing weight, of dark cloud looming.

Enough. 

I am now free of the Tower Block ’emergency accommodation’. Now, I have a space, where I can begin to sleep again, live again, sing again, dance again, work again…

But most of all, now I have a place where I can GARDEN AGAIN!
pexels-photo-296230.jpeg

We should all by now, know what this means! TIME…

TO DIG FOR VICTORY!

 


DIG FOR VICTORY

Faded

 

The haunt, which hangs in the air like unspent static, is the fear of time, and purpose wasted. Everyday which goes by, without a routine, can scratch against my ‘ground’ like a hard sweeping brush. It’s etching away at the trial which i’d marked myself, in the vain hope I could ever, if needed, turn to the tattooed ground to remind myself of the way I am headed and the way I have come.

The path upon which I thought I had gained some footing is fading, and i’m not far behind.

It is during these moments, when, locked inside a tightly binding labyrinth of excessive reflection, that I long for the traveller’s Compass, to remind me of which direction to take, in order to step forwards and march on.

Sometimes, the colours on life’s map become faded.

texture-2115747_960_720

This story, of course, I leave to be continued…


 

Momentary meltdowns

So I ended up getting ‘sent on sick’ leave at work, due to a climaxing of several momentary meltdowns, into a longer, more insidious one. One which took me to the edge of the cliff, and had me dangling off there with just my bare hands to muzzle deep into the chalky periphery, and claw into the Earth for dear life.

All metaphorically speaking. It’s a way of conveying speech which I think is one of the only ways you can explain, and illustrate, mental health, and how it happens. It is just so much easier to paint a picture via metaphor, when trying to find the shapes which define your mental world, and narrate it’s story.

Trying to be fair to the recipient of your story, which includes yourself and those you voice it to, or those you don’t, it enables some kind of structure for understanding.

It is hard to talk about mental health.

The judgement which you (human), cast down on your own thoughts and feelings, suffers from it’s own distortions. How can you ‘diagnose yourself’ if you don’t know all your own mental parts, which of them you like, and those you don’t (and why?).

This is incredibly difficult to do objectively, when the ingredients of the ‘self’ come so many different sources. It comes not only from our historic, biological DNA and organs; that physical and’see-able’, quantifiable, human blueprint. And it comes from what our senses made of the environment, from birth to now (and counting).

There can be no such thing as a self which can replicated, because the variables, which shape it are too rich in their diversity, and all the odds are against the idea of there ever existing another self, which is identical in it’s on-going crafting, of your own.

So, returning to applying judgement- It’s fair to say that all of us can only use the tools for understanding which we have. Which is the condition against which we struggle, trying find the words to talk about mental health. We find that the words we have to work with, to describe and to think in the language of, are too ambiguous, too contested and too ‘sticky’ to talk with easily, about mental health.

When it comes to how people, including myself, can express and communicate matters of the mind, it’s almost like we’d need a whole new language to do so in a way which does it justice.

I myself can most certainly not be arsed, to embark upon threading some new complications and intricases, into our already infamously complex English Language.

So thank the weird minds of us all, for metaphors.

This is promising

Promising ideas to bring forth ideas for improving and expanding upon our city’s urban greenscapes, sustainable and overwhelmingly positive green city of Sheffield! Proposals include two massive biodomes at Parkwood Springs MTB trail, increased dirve towards bringing allotment and growing spaces to a wider range of the Sheffield community… In all, green, sustainable, adaptable and innovative moves in the right direction for revolutionizing the way Sheffield businesses, urban development projects and economic revival can take root and thrive!

Its Allot to take in, Article by Sheffield Star

Read more: http://www.thestar.co.uk/news/your-say/it-s-allot-to-take-in-1-4836621#ixzz44lUa1V8I

In short, this is the gist:

  • A new exhibition showcasing 50 ways of improving Sheffield – from two massive biodomes at Parkwood Springs to an aerial walkway through Endcliffe Park
  • Proposals include creating an urban allotment in Charter Square, transforming Rockingham Street Car Park into a drive-through cinema, and turning part of the Porter Brook into a swimming and watersport facility
  • The proposals are the results of more than a decade’s worth of course work carried out by architecture, landscape and urban design students at Sheffield University.Each year, scholars are asked to come up with fully costed and planned-out designs which could, in theory, improve the city’s built environment.
  • The exhibition will be held as part of the upcoming Festival Of The Mind, an extravaganza of art and science events being run at venues across the city in September.

The ideas put forward by the students and scholars at Sheffield University, which will be showcased during this year’s upcoming Festival Of The Mind; ‘Fifty Ideas For A Better Sheffield runs at CADS art complex in Smithfields from September 20 – 30. Entry free.’
Some of the comments in the Star’s article hint at a troubling underbelly of pessimism (or realism, call it what you will), which comes across in a somewhat skeptical tone as told by Ivan, 24, who is running the project through the Shalesmoor, Kelham Island and Neepsend Network development agency which he manages; “The trouble is once the course work is finished, it’s marked, put in a drawer and no-one ever thinks about it again.”

However, an obvious mind for practical solutions to realistic obstacles drives his reasoning behind deciding to invite a much wider audience to take a look at these project ideas and discuss, and indeed there will be an abundant supply of useful, inspiring and thought provoking information on offer at the exhibition. Ivan has concluded: “This exhibition isn’t just a mine of ideas, it’s a mine of information as well.”


 

One reason I know I will be attending, is to gather ideas and invite feedback about how some of the showcased proposals can inform and help shape the future for my own aspirations about restoring Sheffield Ski Village, by turning parts of it into an ‘edible park’, community hub of leisure which can and should be laced with gardening and green spaces.

I know that here in Sheffield, We all cherished the spirit and communal joy Sheffield Ski Village once brought to our city for folk to enjoy, and likewise, we still take great pride in being called ‘the greenest city in Europe’… What is NOT valuable and equitable about a city determined to fight to remain Green, Socially Innovative and Creative?

 

 

 

 

Sheffield Ski Village Regeneration Project

sheffield ski village project landsape photoView over Sheffield from the slopes of the old Ski Village

About

Regeneration of Sheffield Ski village: plan is not to take up or hinder any efforts to restore the old ski village, or any additional leisure hub plans. This edible park/commnity grow space plan; seeks to assist with the revival, because we can upcycle a lot of the debris into flower/vegetable beds, plant trees, create art and sculptures, jazzy benches etc.

It’s also to be a family friendly park, and the plan has been put forward that we only need approx 700 sq metres to achieve the edible park, bearing in mind the entire ski village alltogether is approx. 10,000 sq metres! Please help me to use this opportunity to create something additional and positive from the devestating arson attack… This would be MUCH better than MORE HOUSES- which is a fate which could afflict the land if it is left much longer in dispute and stagnation due to problems with communication between SCC and the leaseholder of the land upon which the Ski Village once stood proud and untarnished…

Story so far:

Using my Facebook page; Dig for Victory- grow, revive, upcycle and thrive, I launced a campaign in March 2014, with the intention of gaining support and/or interest in the future of the old Ski Village derelict space.

I launched a crowdfunding page to help raise £2,000 to Create Sheffield Edible Park- a new community green space in which people could come together to help regenerate the soil from the arson attack ash, and upcycle the debris creatively, into new structures and growing spaces.

See the page here:

See the Facebook page: Dig for victory- grow, revive, upcycle and thrive

From the page post about this project:

“We’re raising money to Create Sheffield Edible Park growing space because Ski Village remains derelict and needs revival. Support this project on Yimby by…
JUSTGIVING.COM

Although fundraising target was never reached on this project via Just Giving, would anyone still be interested in continuing efforts towards the aim of utilizing and regenerating Sheffield Ski Village as the edible park/green space?

Please comment or message me to register your interest!”

A sample of the Ski Village Project images